This question found it’s way into my email inbox this week and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s simple, but it can provide a ton of insight and direction in its answer.

“If we were sitting here three years from now in this exact same place, sitting in these exact same chairs, what would need to happen for each of us to be happy with those three years?”
(h/t Carl Richards – Your Future Should Be Bigger Than Your Past. Here’s How to Do It.)

If you feel unsure about where it is that you’re headed, answer the question. Not just in your head, actually articulate it. Grab your spouse, a friend, a sibling, a stranger, anyone and ask each other the question.

It may feel awkward. You may squirm in your seat a bit (like I did) or even brush it off at first as being too idealistic, but once you let it sink in and really give it thought, you will come away reenergized and with a greater focus and direction on your future plans.

Give it a try. If you don’t have someone to share the question with, reach out. I’ll be your sounding board. Let me know how it goes.

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Here’s what caught my eye this week:

MONEY & LIFE: I Planned for Widowhood but Got a Lot Wrong (ThinkAdvisor)
My lovely mother actually put this article back on my radar a couple of weeks ago. The article is a few years old but continues to get recirculated year-after-year in part because of its unique first-person perspective of a woman who has and still is experiencing the journey of widowhood. The author, Ellen Uzelac, recounts her journey through the fog of grief and gives some tips on how to prepare for and navigate your financial life in the wake of grief.

Is there a better feeling than unloading the washer and finding money laying at the bottom? Don’t lie…you’re smiling right now just thinking about it.

Whether it’s $5, $10, $20, it doesn’t really matter. It brings the same amount of joy…because you didn’t expect it. You didn’t know it was missing.

What if we lived in a crazy world where after every load of laundry we knew there would be $5 waiting for us at the bottom of every load…amazing, right?

Now…in this magical laundry world, what if you suddenly discovered that while you find $5 after each of your loads, your friend finds $10…he uses the same type of detergent, the same type of washer, but he lives on a different street, so, therefore, you find less money than him…how do you feel now? Different, right? I mean…on the one hand, you’re still finding money you didn’t have before…but on the other hand, now you know that it’s possible to find more money.

As crazy as it sounds. welcome to the world of employer retirement plans! This is how 401(k)’s, 403(b)’s, and other retirement plans work. Not all plans are created equal, despite seeming to be.

I was reminded of this fact, recently, while reviewing 401(k) accounts for a client. Husband and wife work for two different employers. Both save into their respective employer’s 401(k) plan. Both have the exact same investment options available to them…but the investments in Wife’s 401(k) actually cost about 7.5 times more than the very same investment in Husband’s 401(k).

You would hardly notice this difference in their account balances after one month or even one year of saving…but thanks to compounding interest, 30 years down the road that cost discrepancy adds up to a $100,000+ difference in account balances at retirement…for using the exact…same…investment.

Does that mean the wife shouldn’t save into her 401(k)? Not necessarily. Cost is only part of the equation and should never be the leading factor when making investment decisions. It should only be considered as part of the bigger picture along with other factors like risk, diversification, taxation, and employer matching.

Cost can’t always be controlled, but when it can, it should be because there’s money to be found.

Here’s what caught my eye this week:

 

LIFE: 5 Reasons Why Non-Digital Time Management Is More Productive (Tim Maurer)
I’m not a great multi-tasker by any stretch of the imagination, and that is never more apparent than in my time management. I’ve tried and tried over the last year and a half to find a digital time management system that works for me…but I always revert back to pen and paper, in some form. I ordered a Bullet Journal to give the non-digital time management style a try starting in January. Fingers crossed.

I’ll set the stage: it’s 40 degrees, windy, I’m blindfolded and standing in the woods along with eight others, each of us has our right hand on a rope, the other hand out in front of us hoping we don’t run into each other or bust our noses on a tree.

We’ve been led one by one into the woods to what we can only assume is some kind of rope labyrinth or maze. There we stand awaiting our instructions for the first of our team-building exercises:

Instructor: “Your goal is to find the exit to the rope maze. You must remain blindfolded and keep your right hand on the rope at all times. You may not talk. When you think you’ve found the exit, raise one hand and I’ll let you know if you are correct. If you need help, step away from the rope and raise both hands to ask for help.”

And then the fun begins, as I walk forward taking short, shuffling steps with my right hand on the rope and my left hand outstretched keeping me from running into the person or tree in front of me.

After a few minutes of following the rope in my right hand while listening to the rustling of leaves by other group members and occasionally bumping into the person in front of me, it becomes apparent that we’re walking in some kind of rectangular, loop pattern. Hmmm…how do I escape a loop?

Instructor, again: “Your goal is to find the exit to the rope maze. You must remain blindfolded and keep your right hand on the rope at all times. You may not talk. When you think you’ve found the exit, raise one hand and I’ll let you know if you are correct. If you need help, step away from the rope and raise both hands to ask for help.”

So I continue shuffling around the circle, now on my third or fourth time around, and bumping into the person in front of me, yet again…but (*plot twist*) the person in front of me is clearly someone different than before.

Okkkkkk….so people are getting out…but there’s clearly no exit. What am I missing? There must be a trick or a loophole or something.

At this point, I’m thoroughly confused…and, to be quite honest, a little frustrated because I consider myself to be a good problem-solver.

The romp around the maze continues with no evidence of an exit to be found, and now on lap five and no closer to solving the mystery. The rustling of leaves as others shuffle around the circle has become noticeably quieter. How are people getting out of here? What am I missing? Think harder.

Instructor, again: “When you think you’ve found the exit, raise one hand and I’ll let you know if you are correct. If you need help, step away from the rope and raise both hands to ask for help.”

The sounds around me suggest that most of our group has somehow solved the puzzle and found the exit at this point. Yet, there I am still blindfolded, cold, confused and frustrated wandering hopelessly around the maze again.

Instructor, yet again: “When you think you’ve found the exit, raise one hand and I’ll let you know if you are correct. If you need help, step away from the rope and raise both hands to ask for help.”

Alright, I give up. This is my eighth or ninth time around. The problem is unsolvable. This is hopeless. Clearly, everyone else is more clever than me. So…I step away from the rope and raise both hands to ask for help.

Instructor, in a close, quiet, whispered tone: “Congratulations, you may remove your blindfold and exit the maze.”

Here’s what caught my eye this week:

MONEY: 2 Smart Ways Consumers Are Managing Their Holiday Spending (The Motley Fool)
Last year, Americans spent on average $1,143 for the holiday season…while racking up $1,054 in holiday debt. The solution to the holiday spending vs. debt issue is simple: save in advance and set a budget. But…simple is rarely as easy in practice as it sounds in principle.

LIFE: YMCA CAMP PIOMINGO (Brandenburg, KY)
The above-mentioned rope maze activity was one of many team-building/leadership exercises that I got to participate in this past week at Camp Piomingo as part of my local Chamber of Commerce Leadership Class. I’m so glad I got to experience some of the camp activities, and learn more about their summer camps and the overall mission of providing opportunities for kids find out who they are, who they want to be, and to develop confidence and character to become that person. If you have kids or grandkids age 6-16, I highly recommend looking into their overnight summer camps for kids or their occasional day camps for the whole family.

We went on a family trip to Lexington, KY last weekend. It’s usually about a two-hour drive from our house without traffic, construction, or emergency pit stops for the kids (rarely are we this lucky though). We drove the first hour and 45 minutes without any trouble…besides the rain, it was smooth sailing. Until the last 5 miles, that’s when it all changed.

Three exits from our destination, we hit a traffic jam on New Circle Road between Harrodsburg Rd. and Nicholasville Rd. If you’re familiar with Lexington, this is not uncommon on a rainy, Friday evening…almost expected really. Logically, I knew this was easily the shortest route and whatever was slowing down the traffic would likely clear up by the next exit and probably only slow us down by 15-20 minutes.

In reality though…it was 7:30 on a Friday, it was dark, it was raining, our four-year-old was getting restless and hungry, we were out of snacks, and, to top it all off, our 9-month old decided that he was D-O-N-E…DONE being in a car. This is the moment when my best intentions turned into a rational, yet regrettable decision. Sitting in traffic, Google Maps made it clear what to do. There was nothing but dark red on the map for the next mile…but if we exited now and rerouted, nothing but green. So…I decided to follow my impulse and assert my control over the situation by changing course. Fast forward 50 minutes later and we finally arrive at our destination with elevated blood pressure, elevated stress levels…and no time saved.

In hindsight, staying the course and waiting out the traffic would have still gotten us to our destination and likely quicker than changing course. But, in the moment, it can be difficult not to act on impulse and try to assert control in an uncontrollable situation, especially when emotions are running high. Sometimes simply doing nothing is the best option.

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October has been a rough month for the stock market. This is the second time this year that we’ve experienced this type of volatility and decline. After years of watching the market climb consistently and with little volatility, it’s totally normal to feel nervous when the market goes down. It’s also normal to feel the urge to assert control on the situation and do something. But, in reality, doing nothing and staying the course is more often than not the best option.